Originally posted 10 Jan 11.
With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan
As some of you will know, I’m having technical troubles, namely having to use my TV as a monitor. While this has enabled me to keep up with my mail and suchlike, for the most part it’s been a right royal pain, as screen-fonts appear blurry and pixilated, and I have to zoom into pages so far that, on some sites, I’m seeing maybe three or four words per line. Anyway, hopefully normal service will be resumed soon. In the meantime, here’s something I jotted down longhand earlier this afternoon…
I am the very model of a Biblical Creationist;
To age the world I know I merely need to sum a list
Of all the ‘gats and ‘gots I find in Exodus and Genisis
And close my mind to evidence, reality and scientists.
I have no truck at all, with matters evolution’ry;
I’ll be a monkey’s uncle ‘fore believing in ape-ancestry
The only things I know about were taught me at my Mammy’s knee;
The King James Bible’s all I need to keep me from calamity.
Scientific the-ory to me is just a load of cod’s
If it contradicts my unsubstantiated word of God.
I’ll believe in myth and miracles, and in fabled lands of Nod,
But dismiss DNA, and Darwin and Mendel-ian pea-pods.
I’m happy to be ignorant, as the day that I was born,
I’ve got a little mantra: I say ‘Show me the tansit’nal form’.
‘Evidence!’ I shout, then do nowt but cover it with scorn,
‘It’s just a theory’, close my eyes, count to ten, hope you are gorn.
The Book is true, and God is truth, and, well I think you get the gist.
No evidence from me, but from you I want a great long list
And none will ever pass my expertly shown analysis.
Oh yes, I am the very model of a Biblical Creationist!