Feng shui works! I know it does, it really, really does.
I've tested it and found it works—I know it does, because,
I had a coffee table by the door, against the wall
And every night when it was dark, I'd trip on it and fall.
Well I turned it 'round and moved it to the far side of the room.
A miracle! No longer do I tumble in the gloom!
Now all I need to do, to reach true harmony
Is move the bloody sideboard, where I always crack me knee.
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