Posts Tagged ‘bible’

Upon His throne, the Lord was bored one Tuesday afternoon.
He looked for some amusement, to lighten up His gloom.
"Hey, Satan," He did boast in Lordly style. "See that chap with all the riches?
He's the kind what makes it all worth while, loves Me from wig to britches."
Satan took a gander, yawned; he wasn't well-impressed.
"To love one's Lord is easy, when in finery one's dressed." (more…)

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Get Out Of Hell Free

When did you last hear a fundy quote Christ?
They'll quote Revelations 'til Hell turns to ice
And Isaiah and Paul, Leviticus too,
But quoting their King? That they never do. (more…)

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A classic from Mitchell & Webb.


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In Judges, One, we're told at length
The Lord came down and lent his strength
To Judah's tribe as they did fight
In north and south, to left and right.
They took those lands and made them theirs,
As promised to all of Moses' heirs. (more…)

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The strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.
—Thucydides, History Of The Peloponnesian War, 431 BCE

Imagine that I am a park keeper. I'm also the local magistrate. In my position as park keeper, I erect loads of KEEP OFF THE GRASS signs around the park. Then, one day, I follow you around the park, constantly pushing you off the path and onto the grass. In my position as magistrate, I then punish you, your family, friends, co-workers and neighbours for your "crime" of walking on the grass; and all this is done merely in order to show that I have the power to do it.

Would you, Gentle Reader, describe me as a nice person, based on the above? Would you think me a person worthy of your trust, obedience and loyalty? Would you attempt to defend my actions? (more…)

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Right then let's catch up with Bob Hutton, as I've missed three of his posts.

Bob's Bowel Movement The First: "A Warning To All Evangelists (And All Christians, Too!)"

I take this one quite personally, as it's framed as an attack on one of my readers, and constitutes a complaint about things said in the comments on my own blog—and yet Bob doesn't even have the decency to link to the comments in question so that his readers can make their own judgements. Is he, perhaps, afraid that people might think his complaints unfounded? Or is he, perhaps, a discourteous shit-head with no sense of politeness or of moral decency?

I've said this before, Bob, and though you've flatly denied it, you've never actually explained in what way I'm wrong. Failure to give the full facts is lying by omission, and a liar by omission bears false witness just as much as does a liar by commission. Try obeying your own bloody scriptures before complaining that others don't do so.

Anyways, Bob says: (more…)

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Granted, it's a few days old, as I've been otherwise engaged, and it's not very interesting mail, but it is, indubitably, mail. According to Bob Hutton—and I quote—I "will love this." He then provides a link to his blog. Not a blog-entry, you understand. His entire blog. And that's it.

I'm going to assume that he meant to point me at his latest waste of effort. It's just that Bob's grasp of nineteen-nineties technology (you know; interweb links an' stuff) is rather weak. I long-ago asked Bob to stop spamming my email when he makes new posts, but I guess he was so excited about having managed to string a few sentences together that he momentarily forgot that.

(And Bob, for what it's worth, I'm already subscribed to the RSS feed of your blatherings. I do not need a personal reminder whenever you spill your e-ink. I make comments at your blog about some of my posts here, because, in those cases, I have chosen to address your own posts, and letting you know that I've done so is the polite thing to do. I assume that if you wanted to know when I make any post about anything you would subscribe to my blog. Please Bob, enough with the spam, okay?)

So, okay, I'm in a fisking kinda mood, so let's have a look what the Broadstairs Buffoon has to say… (more…)

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