Thou shalt not lay on the mat, t'would seem
With another tom, as though t'were a queen.
Its against God's rules—abomination!—
Sex is for insemination!
It's against God's will, Fluffy. It's not nice;
Why, next you'll be wanting to marry mice!
And that rainbow-collar has got to go,
'cause I don't want the neighbours to know
That I've got a tabby who chose to be gay.
And stop meowing to Doris Day!
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