Well I guess 'enhanced interrogation techniques' will now join the ranks of such lovely euphemisms as 'collateral damage,' 'pro-life,' and 'love the sinner, hate the sin.' I'd contend, though, that it actually represents an escalation in the creation of, erm, dubious euphemisms. While they all attempt to put a nice, or at least less-bad, face on something nasty, this one sounds like it's actually trying to sell you the idea that something abhorrent is really a good thing.
All New Enhanced Bio-Wash-o-Soap! It's like bathing in the joyful tears of angels!
The New Enhanced
From the makers of Question™
For years, people have been relying on our tried and tested Question™ package, but in this fast-moving world, we noticed that some features were unwanted by YOU, the user. So we stripped them out, leaving you a LEANER, FASTER product, free of irritating and unwanted sub-routines which wasted valuable processing-resources:
Empathy™ … Gone!
Ethics™ … Gone!
Legality™ … Gone!
Morality™ … Gone!
Due Process™ … Gone!
Then we took a look at the core program. Versions 2.0–5.1.3 of Question™ incorporated a public-property process known as LearningFromHistory. This process would run whenever a new Question™ user-modification was made, and would check to see if that modification had been used before, and whether it had proved to be unreliable. While we believed this was a valuable process, market-research showed that YOU, the user, disagreed, and that warnings generated by the process were routinely being dismissed. So in Question+™, it's GONE! Because YOU, the customer, are always right.
Then we ADDED the features YOU wanted:
Lack Of Oversight™
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For a full list of features, consult your nearest Leaders Of The Free World™ government. For your comfort while making enquiries, use of a proxy to disguise your I.P. is advised.
Whenever you need to throw morality out the window.
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