We 'ad one once, but it ran out of oomph an' Father said "humph,"
An' 'e took it to pieces an' straightened the creases,
Replaced all the strings an' tightened the springs
An' it worked again for a week or four, 'til it fell on the floor
An' its get-up-an'-go just got up an' went.
So up to the attic, it were sent.
Yeah we 'ad one once, but it weren't much cop so we left it to rot,
But now they say 'tis retro an' cool, an' they think me a fool
For pointin' out 'twas a bad design an' it broke all the time,
That the 'andles fell off at the 'int of a cough.
They grasp this "classic" wi' satisfied purr.
Useless bloody thing, it were.
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