My country, Britain, has recently attained the much-sought-after position of Laughing-Stock Of The World. Our glorious leader, Saint Theresa May, is working tirelessly to not only maintain this position, but to raise us to such a condition of laughability that we cannot be removed from it. Our heroic gutter press have excelled themselves—even going so far as to resurrect tactics and headlines from Nazi propaganda rags—in their fervour to aid her in this quest.
But we need help from you, USA.
You don't need to do much. Just refrain from voting in an orange-skinned, sexist, racist, xenophobic, self-interested, egotistical, bone-headed, lying, swindling, tiny-fingered self-confessed sexual-molester as president of your country.
You have one job. Vote Clinton. We're counting on you.
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