God helps them who helps themselves, I was told.
I emptied all the luggage out of the boot of the car. (That's the trunk, for you folks out there in some of the ex-colonies.)
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I unwedged the jack and the spare wheel from the recess in the floor.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I searched for the damned jack-handle.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I eventually found the Bloody Huge Screwdriver to use as an improvised jack-handle.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I jacked the car up.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
The base of the jack slowly sank into the soft spot in the tarmac which I'd unerringly managed to park over.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I lowered the jack and pushed the car forward a few feet.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I jacked the car up.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I lowered the jack, crawled headfirst into the rear seat well and retrieved the wheel-brace from under the passenger seat.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I jacked the car up.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I gently prised at the hub cap.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I forcefully prised at the hub cap.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
The hub cap cracked in two.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I tried to undo the wheel nuts.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I lowered the jack.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I stamped on, stood on and cursed at the wheel brace until finally each nut loosened a bit.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I raised the jack.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I undid the wheel nuts.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I pulled the wheel off.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
The drizzle I'd been working in turned suddenly to a downpour.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I wrestled the spare wheel into place.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I did four of the wheel nuts up to hand-tight.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
After eventually retrieving the fifth wheel nut from the midst of the only patch of nettles to be found along the entire adjacent stretch of verge, I did the fifth wheel nut up to hand-tight.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I tightened the wheel nuts.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I lowered the jack.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I gave the wheel nuts a final quarter turn by the time honoured method of, again, stamping on the wheel brace. Stamping on a wet wheel brace in the pouring rain is, I found, a great way to slip and open up a bloody gert gouge in your shin.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I repacked the boot.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I unpacked the boot.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I placed wheel and tools into the recess in the floor.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I repacked the boot.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I drove off into the pouring rain.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
The windscreen wiper-blade tore away.
Thanks, God!
—Daz
You may use these HTML tags in comments<a href="" title=""></a> <abbr title=""></abbr>
<acronym title=""></acronym> <blockquote></blockquote> <del></del>* <strike></strike>† <em></em>* <i></i>† <strong></strong>* <b></b>†* is generally preferred over †
Leave a Comment