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Posts Tagged ‘law’

Jesus H Christ on a puppy-powered paddle-wheeler! Hutton's posted again. He must be trying to break a personal record.

Anyways, the gist of it is that Maria Miller, who played a large role in getting the recent Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act through Parliament, has resigned, after being caught, like many MPs of late, fiddling her expenses. Bob The Blithering Blusterer, you won't be at all surprised to hear, sees his god's hand in this. Ms Miller, he thinks, is not being punished for fraudulent use of her expense allowance (you know: the obvious scenario), but for allowing people who love each other to get married. Because that's led to marriage being destroyed, apparently.

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While I was otherwise engaged, Bob 'Plagiarist' Hutton managed to produce what, to me, seems one of his most obscene posts yet. He begins:

On December 7, 1941 the Japs bombed Pearl Harbour; this brought the Yanks into the 2nd World War and led to their president, F D Roosevelt, to declare that this date would live in infamy.

Let us skip lightly past the racism—mostly because Hutton probably doesn't even realise "Japs" is racist, and I've frankly given up trying to teach him how to become a decent human being—and read on, as I'm sure we're all wondering where the hell he's going with this…

However, this date had [sic] now been overtaken by March 29, 2014; why is this? Because on that day the Destruction of Marriage Act came into force and people involved in unnatural sexual relationships could legally call themselves married.

Yep, folks, you read that right. He really went and fuckin' did that thing you saw him do.

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Now, gather round me people, and listen to my tale,
'bout our second-highest judge, Baroness Hale.
Noting that some folk get more exemptions from the law
Than others do, she said "We shouldn't do this any more,"
Then proceeded to explain that what we really need to do
Is make sure that the Christians can get exemptions too.

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Is Bob Hutton trying to make me out a liar? Three posts he's made this month, and we're barely halfway through it. By the Lord Harry, his keyboard must be on fire!

Anyways, his latest is yet another persecution-ejaculation, on the subject of Germany's very sensible recent ban on homeschooling. Hutton waxes lyrical about how "In the Nazi era a law was passed making it compulsory for all parents to send their kids to state schools," thus throwing a rather sinister light on this recent ban.

Whoops! Did I say "recent"? Did Hutton attribute it to a political party which came into power in 1933?

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Cristina Odone, writing in the Torygraph, says:

I don't want to live in a Britain that prizes its cows more than its Jews

Britain is set to become a country that prizes a cow more than a Jew, an ox more than a Muslim. If John Blackwell, soon to be head of Britain's vets, gets his wish, ritual slaughter will be banned. Blackwell, you see, is worried about the pain that animals might feel if they are not stunned before they are butchered. He is not worried though about the millions of Muslims and Jews whose religion dictates that they eat only animals that have been killed in a particular way. Let them eat cake.

[Odone, helpfully, linked the above to an item behind a paywall in the Times. Because, what? She doesn't want to bother herself with journalist-ey things like, just for instance, actual reporting? I've linked it to the HuffPo, instead where it can be read for free.]

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So, Justin Welby and John Sentamu, the Morcambe and Wise of Theism—minus the talent, the humour, and the party-trick with the paper bag—have written a little letter regarding the Church of England and the legalisation of same-sex marriage. Quite why is beyond me, since the CofE is, bizarrely for an organisation which forms part of our government, mandated by law to continue discriminating against same-sex couples. But anyway, they did. And they appended a statement by the House of Bishops setting out the church's position in detail.

You can read it in full, without interruption, at the link above, but for those who aren't fluent in Ecumenical Bafflegab—a bastard hybridisation of High Office-Speak and Low Bullshit—I've reproduced it below, along with some hopefully-helpful clarifications by yours truly. Because I'm a very kind man.

And so, Gentle Reader, with but a short roll on the drums, a wee tinkle on the ivory, and a dram at the bar, without further ado, let me place you in the incapable hands of Welby-Sentamu: the only known being on the planet to possess four hands, four feet, two stomachs, and half a brain…

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A moral dilemma for you, Gentle Reader.

You are a self-described devout, "Bible-believing" Christian. Let's say you're called, erm… Hob Button? Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyways, Hob, old chap, you have a blog. On this blog you have published a poem. You didn't write this poem, but you decide to present it without citing either an author or a source. Indeed, you don't even mention that you didn't write it.

Not to point too fine a point on this, Hob old bean, but you have, in fact, plagiarised this work, haven't you.

But, anyway, moving on…

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