Archive for June, 2014

Feel Free To Groan…

At one the side of the hall was a long table, laden with food. There was garlic bread, miniature sausages and small chunks of cheese on pointy sticks. There was a garlic dip. There were shish kebabs on yet more pointed sticks. There were stakes. Instead of the usual punch, there was a huge bowl of tequila sunrise…

Yes, it was buffet, the vampire slayer.
Daz (more…)

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D'you ever get the feelin' that the whole world is reelin'
While you're rockin'?
Does the thought come a-naggin' that ev'rybody's zaggin'
While you're ziggin'?
The music moves your feet but they're all marching to the beat
While you're swingin'.

And there the muse left me, dangling from the end of an unfinished thought. Felt like I had summat for a moment, but it slipped away. Any suggestions?
Daz (more…)

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Might Makes Right?

The strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.
—Thucydides, History Of The Peloponnesian War, 431 BCE

Imagine that I am a park keeper. I'm also the local magistrate. In my position as park keeper, I erect loads of KEEP OFF THE GRASS signs around the park. Then, one day, I follow you around the park, constantly pushing you off the path and onto the grass. In my position as magistrate, I then punish you, your family, friends, co-workers and neighbours for your "crime" of walking on the grass; and all this is done merely in order to show that I have the power to do it.

Would you, Gentle Reader, describe me as a nice person, based on the above? Would you think me a person worthy of your trust, obedience and loyalty? Would you attempt to defend my actions? (more…)

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Mac Davis Rides Again

A few figures to ponder, for those who claim to be humble in their dealings with the Almighty…

Object Mass in Kg
Universe (observable) 6510000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
El Gordo cluster 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Our galaxy 6000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
R136a1 527111500000000000000000000000000
Sun 1989100000000000000000000000000
Jupiter 1900000000000000000000000000
Earth 5972190000000000000000000
Live biomass on Earth 560000000000000
Average human being 65


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Bob's worried that plans to make the law stricter in regards to emotional and psychological abuse of children might land evangelists in hot water. He doesn't (surprise surprise) give much detail about what Bill he's talking of, but I assume it's the so-called "Cinderella Law." (Which I can't seem to find much in the way of official documentation on, rather than news stories or blog-posts based on the news stories. If anyone can find anything better, I'd be grateful if they'd drop a link into a comment.)

It seems, from what little I can gather, to be mainly focussed on bringing Britain's laws on child-neglect up to the same sort of standard and reach as laws regarding physical abuses, although other laws will also add further weight and scope to the existing law against Female Genital Mutilation.

The Boy Bobby is worried, though, that as a self-confessed harasser of children in the street, such changes in the law might be stretched to get him hauled off to the local nick for a friendly chat. (more…)

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Oh 'eck!

This week's episode of Oh Feck It's Bloody Friday Again, Innit! is on the theme of knowledge. Feel free to add your own suggestions, as ever, in comments.


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Gawd but that bloke gets around. A heads-up for those in the UK: He's on Newsnight tonight at ten thirty. But probably not talking about important things like rocket-assisted lions, damnit.

That is all. You may now return to whatever you were doing.
Daz (more…)

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I've had, some of you may have noticed, a long fascination with how some people praise and, apparently, love a version of God who is, I have to say, eminently unpraiseworthy and distinctly unlovable.

Homosexuality, eating the flesh of certain animals, pre-marital sex, Lord alone (ahem) knows how many other sexual actions and proclivities, blasphemy, working on a particular day of the week, and all sorts of other trivial activities which appear, on the face of it, to do no harm to anyone—all these things he says are bad… (more…)

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Your God…

Your god is a perfect god
Who creates imperfection.

Your god is a merciful god
Who punishes imperfection.

Your god is an all-loving god
Except for the things which he hates. (more…)

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On Microsoft Paint

This is in answer to a question I was asked some time back, somewhere or other, in response to a rather derogatory comment I made regarding Microsoft Paint, the graphics program shipped with Windows. I can't for the life of me remember where the conversation took place, so I'm just hoping that the person in question follows this blog.

In M/S Paint, there is no user-adjustable quality-setting or an option to save to a better format. You get a low-quality jpg file and that's it. Doesn't matter if you're producing your own artwork from scratch or editing a super-dooper high-quality image which you've imported from elsewhere. The output will be the same. It will be a heap of crap. (more…)

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