Four posts, I've written, and none of 'em, on review, were anything I'd ever want to inflict on the internet. I'll get there.
In the meantime, here's a heart-warming tale of the death of a national hero…
Robin Hood was lying on his death-bed.
Posted in General, tagged humour on Tuesday, July 2, 2019| Leave a Comment »
Four posts, I've written, and none of 'em, on review, were anything I'd ever want to inflict on the internet. I'll get there.
In the meantime, here's a heart-warming tale of the death of a national hero…
Robin Hood was lying on his death-bed.
Posted in General, tagged aplogetics, humour, religion, theology on Saturday, April 7, 2018| 5 Comments »
As long-time readers may remember, I enjoy occasionally dipping my toes into the shallower tidal pools of theology and biblical apology. Basically because I find the tortured logic, the pedantic adherence to the literal meaning of obvious metaphors, the use of dodgy word play, the reliance on tiny context-free snippets of scripture and so on, to be rather amusing. (Except the various forms of the faux-logical ontological argument. They're not amusing; they're freakin' hilarious.)
So imagine my surprise when I realised, following a brief joke on the phrase "God's not dead," that I had stumbled upon just such a tortuous argument myself. Now, you may have noticed that many of these arguments appear to begin with an unspoken assumption that God exists, and then proceed to justify that assumption. This, you might think, could pose just a tiny bit of a problem for an atheist. Fear not. For this argument to work, we first need to assume that God is non-existent. What fun. Well, I hope it's fun, 'cause I'm about to present it to you in all its glory. Here, Gentle Reader, we go…
Posted in Horoscopes, tagged humour on Saturday, March 17, 2018| Leave a Comment »
If today is your birthday
You will experience slight solar eclipses, but it will wear off. New socks, hygiene products and garish shirts will appear as if by magic.
Try not to punch your embarrassing racist cousin. Again.
This Prognostication™ was produced after spending literally minutes exposing my chakra to the quantumness of the universe, throwing reason out of the window, and generally making shit up. It may, for all I know, contain one or more predictions which will actually come to pass. Don't say I didn't warn you!
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Posted in Horoscopes, tagged humour on Friday, March 16, 2018| Leave a Comment »
If today is your birthday
Apart from an early-morning zombie attack, a rain of fire from the heavens at around lunch time, a meteorite strike at three in the afternoon and a gas-mains explosion at tea-time, all interspersed by brief but extremely violent street-riots, it will be a quiet day.
Make some time and space for yourself. Lock the rest of your family in the attic.
This Prognostication™ was produced after spending literally minutes exposing my chakra to the quantumness of the universe, throwing reason out of the window, and generally making shit up. It may, for all I know, contain one or more predictions which will actually come to pass. Don't say I didn't warn you!
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Posted in Horoscopes, tagged humour on Friday, March 16, 2018| 6 Comments »
I've decided to take up the noble art of horoscoping…
Basically, if I take on summat which requires me to write everyday, I'm hoping it'll force me to re-engage with the blog. 'Cause I'm a lazy sod and need forcing. So here we go, Gentle Reader. Apart from some superficial changes, like better signs than those boring old Tauruses and Leos etc, it's exactly the same as your bog-standard normal horoscope. Except mine is guaranteed accurate, of course. Ahem.
—Daz
If today is your birthday
At the exact second of the anniversary of your birth, Donald trump, mistaking the Big Red Button marked "ARMAGEDDON! DO NOT PRESS UNLESS YOU'RE REALLY REALLY SURE. (THIS MEANS YOU, MR PRESIDENT, SIR.)" for the "Send Moronic Tweet" button, will bring about the end of the world. By the time you're x-years and ten minutes old, the Earth will be a lifeless cinder ball.
So, on the upside, you may as well hog out on the whole birthday cake. Any weight-gain will be strictly temporary.
This Prognostication™ was produced after spending literally minutes exposing my chakra to the quantumness of the universe, throwing reason out of the window, and generally making shit up. It may, for all I know, contain one or more predictions which will actually come to pass. Don't say I didn't warn you!
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Posted in General, tagged atheism, humour, music, musings, religion on Monday, October 2, 2017| 2 Comments »
So, Barry Duke posted this, erm, thing. A music video thingy entitled I Love You Jesus, by a lady named Trisha Paytas.
That's just wrong, on so many levels—most of them involving excruciating pain.
Look, I'm not totally heartless. I may not be (as I assume most of you have noticed) the greatest fan of religion in the world, but if her life really was the complete wreck the lyrics make it out to have been, then I'm glad for her that she found something to bring it around, whether that something be my cup o' tea or not. But…
Posted in General, tagged atheism, humour, religion on Tuesday, September 5, 2017| Leave a Comment »
God helps them who helps themselves, I was told.
I emptied all the luggage out of the boot of the car. (That's the trunk, for you folks out there in some of the ex-colonies.)
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
I unwedged the jack and the spare wheel from the recess in the floor.
He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.
Posted in General, tagged atheism, creationists, fundies, humour, musings, religion on Tuesday, August 29, 2017| 2 Comments »
If our bodies show clear evidence of having been designed…
And we are made in God's image…
Then God's body must also show clear evidence of having been designed.
So who designed God?
—Daz
Posted in General, tagged atheism, easter, humour, music, religion on Sunday, April 16, 2017| Leave a Comment »
Posted in General, tagged humour, music, muslims, personal, television on Saturday, April 1, 2017| 10 Comments »
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
—Psalm 14:1
As many a wit has told me over the years, my birthday being on the first day of April means that I must be a fool. Ho ho. As you might imagine, Gentle Reader, constant repetition by people who never stopped to think that I just might have heard it a few hundred times before has made the "joke" something of a sore point.