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Posts Tagged ‘humour’

So, Barry Duke posted this, erm, thing. A music video thingy entitled I Love You Jesus, by a lady named Trisha Paytas.

That's just wrong, on so many levels—most of them involving excruciating pain.

Look, I'm not totally heartless. I may not be (as I assume most of you have noticed) the greatest fan of religion in the world, but if her life really was the complete wreck the lyrics make it out to have been, then I'm glad for her that she found something to bring it around, whether that something be my cup o' tea or not. But…

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Help Yourself

God helps them who helps themselves, I was told.

I emptied all the luggage out of the boot of the car. (That's the trunk, for you folks out there in some of the ex-colonies.)

He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.

I unwedged the jack and the spare wheel from the recess in the floor.

He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.

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A Question Of Design

If our bodies show clear evidence of having been designed…

And we are made in God's image…

Then God's body must also show clear evidence of having been designed.

So who designed God?
Daz

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Nice Day For A Resurrection?

Happy Day Of The Living Dead umm, Easter, folks.
Daz







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Owa Taphoo Lamai

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14:1

As many a wit has told me over the years, my birthday being on the first day of April means that I must be a fool. Ho ho. As you might imagine, Gentle Reader, constant repetition by people who never stopped to think that I just might have heard it a few hundred times before has made the "joke" something of a sore point.

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Dear USA,

My country, Britain, has recently attained the much-sought-after position of Laughing-Stock Of The World. Our glorious leader, Saint Theresa May, is working tirelessly to not only maintain this position, but to raise us to such a condition of laughability that we cannot be removed from it. Our heroic gutter press have excelled themselves—even going so far as to resurrect tactics and headlines from Nazi propaganda rags—in their fervour to aid her in this quest.

But we need help from you, USA.

You don't need to do much. Just refrain from voting in an orange-skinned, sexist, racist, xenophobic, self-interested, egotistical, bone-headed, lying, swindling, tiny-fingered self-confessed sexual-molester as president of your country.

You have one job. Vote Clinton. We're counting on you.
Daz

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Meanwhile, In Brexit Headquarters…

"I say chaps, now we're leaving Europe, we need to make ourselves attractive to Johnny Foreigner, for trade deals and all that rot. Any suggestions on how to do that?"

Long silence.

"Wellll, it's just an idea…"

"Speak up old bean!"

"Why don't we try acting like a bunch of racist, xenophobic fuckups who've been banging on about getting out of Europe for forty years, yet have never bothered to come up with a plan for what to do after we leave? That should inspire confidence, surely?"

"Splendid! All in favour…"

Daz

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