In Which I Prove God’s Existence. Oops!

As long-time readers may remember, I enjoy occasionally dipping my toes into the shallower tidal pools of theology and biblical apology. Basically because I find the tortured logic, the pedantic adherence to the literal meaning of obvious metaphors, the use of dodgy word play, the reliance on tiny context-free snippets of scripture and so on, to be rather amusing. (Except the various forms of the faux-logical ontological argument. They're not amusing; they're freakin' hilarious.)

So imagine my surprise when I realised, following a brief joke on the phrase "God's not dead," that I had stumbled upon just such a tortuous argument myself. Now, you may have noticed that many of these arguments appear to begin with an unspoken assumption that God exists, and then proceed to justify that assumption. This, you might think, could pose just a tiny bit of a problem for an atheist. Fear not. For this argument to work, we first need to assume that God is non-existent. What fun. Well, I hope it's fun, 'cause I'm about to present it to you in all its glory. Here, Gentle Reader, we go…

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“Judeo-Christian” Values

Would somebody please explain to me
How wishing a merry Christmas-day
Is an act which could be said to be
"Judeo" in any form, any way.
"Judeo-Christian" values? Pah!
Is perfunctory lip-service, even, paid
To the Talmud or the Tanakh?
Do you recognize Tzedakah? No! Such aid
To the poor is decried as RED COMMEENISM!
Your value system on greed's lathe is turned.
Judeo-anything, it certainly isn't,
And even poor Jesus is hard to discern.
Your "values," if as such they may be described,
Are nothing but hate, they're reactionary.
Your churches are nought but places to hide
From a world you ne'er saw from your mammy's knee.
A fig-leaf of inclusion, that "Judeo" prefix
Can't hide your obstinate Protestantism.
You hardly let Catholics into the mix!
Call it what you like, but Judeo it isn't.
—Daz

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My First Shot In This Year’s Round Of The War On The War On The War On Christmas

Harken unto the words of the Mango Mussolini:

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One Hundred Years After Balfour

A video by Independent Jewish Voices, marking the upcoming one-hundredth anniversary of the Balfour Declaration. I think the film pretty much speaks for itself.
—Daz

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To The Soul-Savin’ Army: Stick Her On The Big Bass Drum And Tell Her Not To Sing

So, Barry Duke posted this, erm, thing. A music video thingy entitled I Love You Jesus, by a lady named Trisha Paytas.

That's just wrong, on so many levels—most of them involving excruciating pain.

Look, I'm not totally heartless. I may not be (as I assume most of you have noticed) the greatest fan of religion in the world, but if her life really was the complete wreck the lyrics make it out to have been, then I'm glad for her that she found something to bring it around, whether that something be my cup o' tea or not. But…

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“They Made The Desert Bloom”

It's a claim you hear all the time, that the Israelis made the desert bloom; the implication being that they had moved into an uncultivated wasteland and, by dint of sheer effort had turned it into a veritable Eden. And every time I hear it I wonder to myself, What do you think the Palestinians had been eating, sand?

As always where such claims of Israeli cultural superiority are made, however, the truth turns out to be far nastier—unless, of course, you think "blooming" and "polluted" are synonyms.
—Daz

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Eton Trifles: The Principles Of Jacob Rees-Mogg

[Click picture to visit Jesus & Mo]

Harken unto the words of the right honourable member (pun definitely intended) for North East Somerset, Jacob Rees-Mogg. Or, as I think of him, the Eton Trifle (because "Eton Mess" was, obviously, taken by Boris Johnson and because I'd be a lot happier if Mogg was, in fact, unconsidered):

Says Freddy Gray in his defence of the execrable Moggie:

Most people, however, are intelligent enough to see a man of principle – a thing Westminster politics lacks – standing up for what he believes, and they like it.

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Cynique, Moi?

To the tune of Give Me Forty Acres…

For the love of tax-free earnings
On the pulpit I will pound.
I'll tell you who to hate and then
I'll send the plate around.
I will vilify the commeenists,
I'll curse the gays with hives.
I can work up quite an anger
If it earns me tax-free tithes.

I need a brand new Cadillac,
My daughter wants a yacht,
So I'll pick another scapegoat
And throw 'em in the pot.
I'll aim God's wrath at feminists
And at the godless fool;
At the needy and the greedy
'cause my mansion needs a pool.

—Daz

PS: And I note that Padre Steve is just as angry as I am, about those who preach hate yet call it love. Though possibly not as cynical as I. Ho-hum.

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Help Yourself

God helps them who helps themselves, I was told.

I emptied all the luggage out of the boot of the car. (That's the trunk, for you folks out there in some of the ex-colonies.)

He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.

I unwedged the jack and the spare wheel from the recess in the floor.

He'll start helping in a minute, I thought.

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A Question Of Design

If our bodies show clear evidence of having been designed…

And we are made in God's image…

Then God's body must also show clear evidence of having been designed.

So who designed God?
—Daz

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